August 24th, 2017: The day I moved into my new home – Grove City College, PA. That’s not a day I’ll ever forget, from the moment we pulled into campus to the moment I said a very-nearly-tearful goodbye to my parents. Leading up to that day, I had gradually grown more and more numb to the idea that I was actually packing up and leaving the little world in which I had spent my entire life, and moving to someplace six hours away from home, where I didn’t know anyone. I knew I should be nervous, but I didn’t feel it yet.
The nerves hit, though, when I started actually moving in.
Instantly I was faced with a thousand new scenarios. I met dozens of people in the span of a few minutes, and all of us were trying to act as if everything was perfectly okay. I’m sure some people were perfectly okay, just like I’m sure others were emotional wrecks, and there were others like me…floating somewhere in the middle.
And then, before I knew it, my parents were gone, and I was on my own. The college experience had started.
The basic strategy was to bombard freshmen with so many meetings, mixers, seminars, events, lectures, luncheons, and more that no one really had time to think. By the time all the events were done, we were so tired that we easily fell asleep. I needed that week to adjust and to realize that we were all in the same boat. And it was during that week that I met some of the people who would quickly become my closest friends.
The semester continued at a break-neck speed. Each day seemed like an eternity, and then each week passed like a moment. Almost before I knew it, I was taking my finals and packing up to come home. One of my last days there, I was talking to a friend, and we agreed that the semester had gone by quickly, “But I feel I’ve known you guys for years,” she said, and I agreed.
Now that I’ve had almost a month to rest, recover, and reflect, I wanted to get into writing some of the things I learned my first semester of college, as well as some general reflections. Ask just about anyone and they’ll tell you that your first few months at college are life-changing, and that they can either be amazing…or pretty terrible. Fortunately, I had an overall wonderful experience at college. Now, does that mean that my first semester was perfect? By no means. There were days and weeks when I really struggled with grades, or relationships, or mental health, but I wouldn’t wish for it to have gone any other way. It was those struggles, as well as all the great moments, that worked together to shape and grow me.
All that being said, here are some things I’ve learned:
Self-identity: This first semester, I came to understand myself a lot better. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. When you’re placed in a wholly new setting, you learn who you are, and I learned that pretty quickly. I had met a few people from my class before going to GCC, but I didn’t know any of them well enough to consider them friends. I had, essentially, a blank slate. No one knew me from my past, and I could in theory be whoever I wanted to be. All I wanted to be was myself, though, and so that’s what I did. And I really learned what it meant for me to be myself. I discovered flaws I need to work on, and things I can be proud of. Overall, I would say I came out of this semester a more self-confident, self-loving person.
I also learned the importance of owning my faith. Would I go to church? How seriously would I take my devotional and prayer life? How exactly was I going to live out my faith in my everyday life? I decided immediately that I wouldn’t skip church, and that I would have to make devotions a priority. I would have to schedule that quiet time just as I would budget my time for homework. Without my faith as my foundation, I don’t think I would’ve made it through this semester. Observing others, I realized I still had a lot of growth ahead of me, but I also regained an appreciation for my own testimony and the work God has done (and is doing) in my life.
Relationships/friends: As I’ve shared before, I was worried about making friends going into college. But, God answered that prayer almost immediately. You know that old clip of Oprah going “You get a car! You get a car!”? It felt almost like God was going “Here’s a great friend! And there’s a great friend! And there’s another friend!”, because within days I had formed some of the closest friendships of my life. With this, I learned to love people at their worst and their best, and to let people love me when I was at my worst. Adjusting to college is going to be an emotional time no matter where you’re from, and I know I had my fair share of “worst” moments. I had to learn to let people in during these moments, instead of shutting them out. I learned how to care for others and be there for them in each unique way they needed.
I went into college single, and so did most of my friends, and we all quickly discovered an interesting aspect of “Small Christian college” culture: the infamous ring by Spring. Though mostly used ironically, this expression is indicative of a subtle pressure to be in a committed relationship. While at public universities, people might experience the pressure to be a part of the hookup culture; you don’t feel that at smaller Christian colleges (at least not to the same extent). But there’s a different pressure, and one that’s almost as dangerous. The unsaid belief that if you aren’t in a loving, committed, Christ-centered relationship, then there must be something wrong with you. As someone who is still happily single, I can tell you that said idea isn’t true. It did take me some time to accept that. I saw many friends in healthy, wonderful relationships and I wanted that (and I still do). But God showed me, again and again, that I was a complete and valuable person without being in a relationship. I realize now that it’s a good thing I was single this first semester, because otherwise I probably wouldn’t have made as many friends.
Self-care/mental health: You’d be hard-pressed to find a group of people more universally stressed-out and exhausted than college students. We’re under immense amounts of pressure in a variety of areas, and it can be hard to cope. I quickly learned that I would need to find ways to deal with stress and anxiety. Those methods are different for everyone, but for me it meant very intentionally setting aside time for rest (unless it was unavoidable, I didn’t do homework on Sundays), and talking to others about my anxiety, whether that was my parents, or a school counselor, or a close friend.
College students are notorious for out-of-whack sleep schedules, and I’m no different. In high school, I usually functioned well off a consistent 7 or 8 hours a night, generally going to bed around 11:30 and waking up around 7. But once college hit, and with it, mountains of homework and a blossoming social life, I found myself staying up to 1, 2, or even 3 in the morning finishing homework, only to get up at 7 every morning to make it to my early-morning classes. I found myself averaging 5 hours of sleep a night. At first I thought I was fine, but I realized eventually that this lack of sleep was doing nothing good for the other areas of my life. I started to make intentional decisions to go to bed, even if I hadn’t finished all of my homework. Once I started doing that, my ability to focus, and manage my time, skyrocketed.
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Has college changed me? Yes. I’m still myself, but I’ve matured and I’ve grown. I’m more motivated to succeed, but I’m also more able to accept my limits. I’m more self-confident, while also more self-aware of my flaws. Yet I’ve only learned to love myself more because of that. I’m a more loving and forgiving person, and I’ve really learned the importance of listening. I’ve learned to deal with bad grades, and hard assignments, and difficult people, and situations that you just can’t fix and have to accept. I’ve learned that the world is so much bigger than I thought before, and I want to explore it as much as I can.
My second semester starts in just over a week and I can honestly say that I am excited to go back and see what this semester has in store.