Psalm 40: 1-3 (ESV)
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, because I’ve been caught up with schoolwork and other end-of-the-semester things. My second semester at Grove City has been just as good or better than my first, and in a few weeks I hope to post a reflection on my freshman year as a whole–I’ve learned a lot that I want to share. As May starts and Spring finally arrives (our last snow here in Pennsylvania was only a few weeks ago), I wanted to take some time to reflect on the importance of the month of May: May is mental health awareness month.
Mental health awareness is extremely important, especially as we gain the ability to identify and treat more and more mental illnesses. Fortunately, the stigma against mental health issues is slowly going away. However, it’s not yet gone, and I think it is very important and powerful for people with personal testimonies about mental health to speak up. That is why I wanted to write this blog post.
The issue of mental health, and treatment of mental illnesses, and the stigma around it all, are very important to me. For large portions of my adolescent and young adult life, I battled depression. It was a silent battle that went on inside of me for many years before I recognized and identified it. I assumed that my symptoms for depression were just mood swings related to puberty and the normal burdens of adolescence. I didn’t want to burden others with my problems so I didn’t share them with even those closest to me. Once I realized that what I struggled with was probably depression, I didn’t want to talk about it, because I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak. Eventually, however, I realized that I was doing nothing to help myself by holding everything inside me. I was only supporting the cultural stigma against anyone, especially young men, expressing concerns about their mental health.
Young men are encouraged to be strong, to not show their emotions. I completely support encouraging growing young men to be strong, charismatic, and character-driven, but not to a point of discouraging them from expressing their emotions, their feelings, and their fears. Unfortunately, this stigma and this attitude is one that I see often in the Christian community, where too often mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are labeled as signs of sin. And that’s simply not true. I can speak from personal experience and say that, yes, unconfessed sins can contribute to depression, but they are not the ultimate cause. We live in a fallen world. Our minds and our bodies are not perfect, and our brains can get sick just like the rest of our bodies. When we are called to take care of our bodies as God’s temple, that includes our brains.
Having depression or anxiety is not a sign that you do not trust God with your life. Mental illnesses are not punishment for sin. For too long I tried to simply “pray” my depression away, while ignoring the very people and resources God placed in my life to help me. In the past year, I have found incredible peace in the LORD, much of which is related to the fact that I have humbled myself and sought help from others. In this, I realized that I am not weak.
I can look back and identify depression in my life going back at least four years, a constant internal battle against my own mind. And that battle has not made me weak. If anything, that battle, and more importantly, winning that fight, has made me stronger. Nothing is more a sign of strength than admitting that you need help. Admitting that you can’t do everything on your own. Realizing that you don’t have to.
I do think I have conquered my depression. While there are still times where I experience depressive episodes, our bouts of anxiety, I no longer let them consume me. They do not rule my life. I have learned to recognize my own worth and value in the LORD, and come to appreciate the resources God has put in my life.
Constantly, during this fight, I had to remind myself that I am not alone. And that’s something I want to say to everyone who is struggling with this: you are not alone. You are loved. People care about you, and can and will help you. Seeking help does not make you weak–it makes you strong. To people who haven’t struggled with mental illnesses, but want to be there for those who do struggle, I say: listen. Sometimes that’s all someone needs–someone to listen to them. Don’t invalidate someone’s feelings by insisting that it is “nothing” or “is all in their head.” That will only discourage them from seeking help. I would encourage everyone to take this month to educate themselves. Too often we believe stereotypes about mental illnesses, rather than seeking the truth. Knowledge and understanding will inform our approach to mental health. Mental illnesses are not easily overcome, but they do not need to define you. Again, I would encourage anyone who struggles to seek help, and always remember that you are not alone.