Yesterday Michigan’s stay-at-home order was extended to the middle of May, just as all around the country people find themselves facing longer periods of isolation than expected–and sometimes increased anxiety about health and safety as the COVID-19 pandemic continues in its spread. Personally I have found myself often discouraged in this time, though I also recognize that I have had the blessing so far of health and safety, a gift I do not take for granted. Despite this, I often find myself wondering–when will this end? How will this end?
Not long after my phone buzzed with the government alert to “STAY HOME STAY SAFE”, I was in our kitchen washing a dish at the sink. The weather this week has been pretty typical for a Michigan April–we’ve had everything from gorgeous sunshine to snow. That day had turned out rather pleasant. There were birds chirping and when I had gone outside to grab the mail I could smell the new life blooming on the trees. Back inside, washing that dish, I looked out the window. In our garden below the window, something caught me eye: a blue jay, picking at a stick in the mulch.
It was a very simple sight and the bird flew away quickly, but for some reason the sight of it overwhelmed me and I kept thinking about it for the rest of the day. The image of that bird had brought vividly to my mind the promise of Matthew 6:26-27–
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
All of Matthew 6 is rich and full of promises, but these verses, and those that follow, have always resonated with me. Growing up I was always someone who struggled with worrying. I won’t say anxiety, per se, but I definitely found myself concerned about the future to the point of it overwhelming, paralyzing me. There have been moments every now and then over the past few months where I have found myself falling back into those old patterns, spiraling in my head into feelings of anxiousness that grow ever-tighter until I feel trapped in them. I have had to very consciously choose joy and contentment throughout this period of unknown, as one of my greatest weaknesses is faithfulness in the unknown, when there is not a plan.
But then I remember this verse, and I see the promise of God in Matthew 6. And yesterday I saw that bird. Now, I won’t necessarily say that the bird was a sign from God–but sometimes signs are contingent on how we interpret them, and in that bird I saw a message, a reminder, a signpost of hope.
That blue jay isn’t aware of the COVID-19 panic. He (or she? I don’t know how to tell a bird’s gender) was not anxious about viruses or even about building his (or her) nest or finding his (or her) next meal. I’d venture to say that birds probably don’t have the capacity to experience anxiety. They exist in a world where their needs will be met, as far as they need to be.
But then again…so do we. We just have the added gift (and burden, sometimes) of having some agency in our lives, where we have been given the role of doing what we can to provide for ourselves. But sometimes we run up against something against which we have no power. A global pandemic, if you will. It is in those moments that we will be prompted to anxiety and fear more than ever before.
And even so, God’s promises still stand.
Something like a pandemic makes us brutally aware of our own inabilities, but in times like this God has not changed. He promised to provide for us and His promises are unbreakable. Jesus said that we have no more reason to worry than the birds of the air, and I’m going to trust Him on that.